All this is true

 

 

I've sung in the local Messiah sing-along for 24 years. All sorts of people show up. I have seen professional singers, former interns' former clients, church ladies, my husband's tone-deaf ex, and once...

David Lynch at the Messiah Sing-Along

I heard him fussing his way through the altos,

scraping chair after wooden chair,

demanding to sit next to someone

who knew the score.

He told me he planned

to become an Episcopal priest

when he retired from his career.

You have to know the right people, he said darkly,

remembering who had thwarted him,

and you have to spread some money around.

 He sang mostly in falsetto,

hooting on high notes as counter-tenors often do.

He damned the mezzo soloist—

no passion, no feeling at all;

I myself have sung those arias

so many times I’ve lost all count.

 His voice wasn’t half-bad, and he could hit his notes,

but he didn’t know the music as well as he thought,

and he jumped the cues for entrances,

darting in early, spooking other altos so

All They Like Sheep Did Go Astray.

 And after we’d sung, he had no pleasantries,

just handed me his glossy business card

with its blurred head-shot.

“Call me if you ever need a lawyer,” he said,

and headed up the aisle.

 

--first published in Viral Cat, 2011