Overheard: Why it is a good idea to go out to lunch

 

 

From the department of things you simply cannot make up:  we were having lunch in a very conventional restaurant in our town. Delicate stomachs, long story, not relevant. Anyhow, I truly could not help but overhear the story one middle-aged woman was telling her companion, an older woman. I couldn't help overhearing because the speaker was LOUD. This is what she said, verbatim, no interpolations or omissions I promise:

"This cleaning product is all natural. It kills bacteria, but you can drink it. I do. This is the company that Richard was looking into. A pharma company went into his computer and deleted the file--so unscrupulous. She [no idea] is disgusting, despicable. Richard's business partner killed him. It was a mess. The FBI got involved. He was embezzling our money and everything. Organized crime. Richard lost it all--all his hair too. He started early.

"Richard's sister's husband's brother was murdered. He got into it with a homeless woman. She came back with five friends and they stoned him to death. They were on meth, pinned down his legs with a boulder. Richard gave him a beautiful service. [vigorously and with gestures, imitating Richard, I suppose] 'As he was dying, Sataaan went to pull him down, but Jesus flew in and snatched him up--and I know your brother sits in Heaven this day.'"